Kate's spokesperson announced on September 3 that
Kate and Jim have separated
Scroll down the page for links to news articles
Kate spoke briefly with reporters September 4 (watch on Real Player)
Radio 1 audio report -- Listen
I have moved the photos taken this week of Kate and Mia to a separate page, (added many new pics Sept 7).
Media coverage of the sad news:
[I certainly wish reporters wouldn't 'speculate' on what may have caused the break-up and would only publish the facts as revealed by the parties involved. I am continuing to post articles here that are of interest to Kate's fans - because as one fan put it, 'We just want to understand, and support Kate.']
On this page are reports published September 5-8 (click on links below to jump to articles):
Sunday Mirror - "Kate Turned Me Out With No Real Reason..."
Reuters - 'Winslet's Man Says No Reconciliation'
Edinburgh Evening News - 'No Way Back For Winslet'
Ananova - 'No Chance of Reconciliation, Says Kate Winslet’s Husband'
The Mirror - 'Jim Can't Fix It'
The Sun - 'Kate’s Jim Holding The Baby'
The Daily Record - 'My Kate’s A Great Mum'
The Daily Mail - 'Flowers Say Julia Understands'
Empire Online - 'Sense and Sensitivity'
The Daily Record - 'Julia’s Words of Support To Sad Pal Kate'
The Mirror - 'Kate Gets Support From Julia'
Reuters - 'Pretty Woman Julia Comforts Kate Winslet' (she's the one who sent the flowers)
The Times - 'End of a Perfect Marriage' (article dated Sept 5, added here late Sept 6)
Celebrity News - 'Kate Winslet's Husband Could Get Megabuck Divorce Deal'
Salon magazine - 'Granny's Got A Few Things To Say' (despite Kate's plea for privacy)
The Independent - 'Why shouldn't a woman earn more than a man?'
The Guardian - 'When Women Wear The Trousers'
Daily Record - 'Winslet Gives Husband The House' (that pesky neighbor is giving his opinion - again)
The Mirror - 'Jim Gets The £800K House' (more of the same ****)
Daily Record - 'Key To OK Kate'
The Telegraph - "A Shadow Too Long To Live In" (more speculation)
The Daily Mail - 'Kate's Fame Was Kiss Of Death For Jim' (brace yourself for this one!!)
London Evening Standard - 'Divorce May Net Threapleton £2m' (speculation)
Evening Standard - 'Warning: Diets Kill Marriages' (sarcastic commentary)
Evening Standard - 'There’s Never Too Much Celebrity' (public interest in celebrities)
The Guardian - 'Why we care about Kate' (thoughtful commentary - a must read)
The Independent - 'The Poisonous Fantasy of These Fairytale Marriages' (the 'happiness myth')
Salon magazine - 'Juicy Bits' (Amy Reiter pokes fun at Kate now wanting some privacy)
Reuters - 'Hollywood Legends Battle To Find True Love' (Kate is added to the list)
The Guardian - 'Winslet Break-up Blamed on Diverging Careers' (Jim's grandparents' comments)
Hello! magazine - 'Reconciliation For Kate And Jim Not On The Cards, Say Family And Friends'
[Source unknown] 'Winslet and Husband 'Split Weeks Ago'
The Mirror - 'Why Jim Lost To Winslet' (writer feels Jim's insecurities caused split)
The Sun - 'It’s Just Mum And Mia Now' (quotes from Jim's grandparents and friend)
The Sun - 'True Story of Kate’s And Jim’s Relationship' (analysis of what went wrong)
The Mirror - 'Jim Begged Kate Over and Over to Give the Marriage one More Chance'
Scottish Daily Record - 'End of the Fairytale' (claims Jim is frustrated about career differences)
The Scotsman - 'Till Envy Do Us Part' (pressures of her success)
The Telegraph - 'Marriage Split is Very Sad But Amicable, Says Winslet'
The Times - 'Tearful Winslet Tells of Sadness at Breakdown'
Go here for articles published Sept 4; here for articles published Sept 3.
This writer for the Mirror takes Jim’s side and blasts Kate. Note that many comments are what he supposedly told 'friends'. The funny thing is, as Kate and Jim have both been heard stating that they don't want to discuss the reason for the split, why would a close friend of Jim's blab to the Mirror?
"Kate Turned Me Out With No Real Reason ... Why Is She Talking Of Divorce Now?"
Exclusive: Jim’s story of the shock break-up
The heartbroken husband of film star Kate Winslet broke down in tears as he told of the moment when he realised his marriage to his "beautiful wife" was over. Jim Threapleton says he thought the rift between them was temporary - but a few days before they were due to tell the world about their split, the actress broke the shocking news. She wanted a divorce.
Pouring out his heart, Jim said: "I haven't lost Kate Winslet the famous actress. I have lost a beautiful wife and I am very concerned I might lose my daughter. She has turfed me out without any real reason. How has this happened - why is she being so cold about a divorce so soon? I love Kate and if I am losing her, I can't bear to lose Mia as well - she means the world to me."
Anguished film producer Jim, 27, told how:
He thought it would be a trial separation, but Kate wanted a divorce.
He begged her to agree to marriage guidance, but she refused point-blank.
He fears he will be relegated to being a "weekend dad" to the couple's daughter.
The pair clashed furiously over a new set of "D-list" celebrity friends he believed were using his wife.
He felt "picked-on and hen-pecked" and was upset when she cut herself off from his family.
Jim added to his friend: "I thought we were just getting some space, but she is rushing into divorce. I just can't understand how all this is happening. It is all going too bad too fast and I can't put my finger on a real reason."
Meanwhile, the Sunday Mirror can reveal that Dougray Scott, Kate's handsome co-star in the new film Enigma, has split from his wife and children. They became close friends during filming, but deny any romance.
Jim revealed that his fairy-tale marriage to Kate began cracking up after they bought their £800,000 dream home in Surrey last year. The converted pumphouse on an island on the River Thames flooded regularly during heavy rain, adding to the problems caused by caring for a new-born baby. Jim and Kate, 25, had blazing rows over the house and both admitted that buying it had been a massive mistake. His friend said: "The house was a recipe for disaster. Jim was stuck at home dealing with the flooding, supervising the builders they had in to refurbish the place and looking after Mia - while Kate was away in showbiz-land."
As the arguments increased, the couple took a holiday in Rome in June with Mia in an attempt to rekindle their romance. The couple threw coins for luck into the Trevi Fountain, but only misfortune followed.
They were photographed in the back of a limo leaving a summer showbiz bash looking worlds apart.
Then, in mid-summer, Kate decided they must spend time apart, and then decided, unknown to Jim, that the whole marriage was over.
The friend said: "Jim went off to stay in Cornwall and work on his scripts and she stayed in London. He was convinced with time and space they could work things out. He was shocked when she told him she was consulting divorce lawyers. He wanted them to go to marriage guidance and instead he had to hire his own lawyer. He still can't bear to take off his wedding ring - even though she isn't wearing hers."
In recent months, Jim and Kate have also been arguing about a new circle of showbiz friends who had clustered around Kate. "Jim didn't like them and thought they were just using her to try and further their own careers," said the friend. He told her so in no uncertain terms and said they were C list and D list, but she was furious with him. Throughout their relationship Kate had mostly followed Jim's advice on what projects to do and what scripts were good. She can be very headstrong and she was no longer showing him the respect she had before."
The friend went on: "What made it worse was Kate was doing all these interviews saying what a great marriage they had when it wasn't true. Jim just kept quiet and suffered in silence, even though he felt very picked on and hen-pecked. The rows were terrible, but he told nobody."
Another friend said: "She had always been such a normal and down-to-earth girl, but Hollywood seems to have turned her head and she has dealt with her marriage as though she is negotiating a movie contract."
For the month before the break-up they moved out of the jinxed mansion in Walton-on-Thames and into Kate's old North London flat. Shortly before he moved out, she told him she was issuing a statement that they were separating and told him it was all over - permanently.
The friend said: "He was in floods of tears and just cried and cried because he really loves Kate and his daughter and hoped they might be able to solve their problems."
The couple are now believed to be arguing over who will look after Mia when Kate goes to Morocco - where they met - to shoot The Magician's Wife later this year. "Normally he would go with her and take care of Mia," said the friend. "But he won't be going this time. He does not know whether he should fight for custody, but he does not want to become one of those weekend fathers. He thinks her wealth and status will work against him if custody of the child is decided by a family court."
Jim has told friends he hopes to spend the day with Mia and Kate on the baby's first birthday next month. But he fears their cosy family get-togethers - Kate has spent the last three Christmases with the Threapletons - are over.
The friend said: "Jim's mum Louise thought the world of Kate but she has cut herself off from his family since this happened." The couple met filming the movie Hideous Kinky in Morocco and wed within a year in November 1998. They set up their own company, Tell Tale Films, and the seal was put on their bliss by the birth of Mia last October.
In the last year alone the Titanic actress has worked on Enigma, French classic Therese Raquin, and Iris, about the life of novelist Iris Murdoch.
The friend said: "Jim was struggling to get his own films off the ground, while having to follow Kate round on film sets to look after Mia. He has been crying constantly. He just wants Kate back."
Last night Jim's younger brother Robin told the Sunday Mirror: "My brother is very sad and Kate remains in my family's affections. I hope this can all be sorted out amicably in the fullness of time."
Isn’t it odd then that Jim seemed composed Friday as he carried Mia outside the flat in order to be photographed with her, while Kate has been the one who seemed distressed the past few days? The above stories remind me of those National Enquirer stories based on what an 'anonymous source' or a 'friend' supposedly told them.
Several news sites and papers have published this Reuters story, which carries Jim's comments from yesterday:
"Winslet's Man Says No Reconciliation"
LONDON (Reuters) - Kate Winslet's estranged husband has confessed he holds little hope for a reconciliation with the "Titanic" star.
Assistant film director Jim Threapleton broke his silence on the marriage breakup on Friday after arriving at the couple's flat to see baby daughter Mia. Cradling Mia in his arms, Threapleton said he was in constant contact with Winslet, but there was no chance they would get back together.
"Kate is a spectacular mother. We are looking forward to having a positive future with Mia. That's the only important thing at the moment," the Mirror reported him as saying.
When asked if he hoped for a reconciliation, Threapleton said: "That's not even worth talking about at the moment, to you or to Kate".
On Monday Winslet announced the couple were separating after less than three years of marriage. The announcement came as a shock to many who perceived the marriage as the picture of domestic bliss.
But Threapleton's grandfather has said Winslet's success had placed enormous pressure on his grandson, who was struggling to establish himself in his own field.
Other publications have re-worked the story. From the Edinburgh Evening News:
Way Back For Winslet"
Kate Winslet’s estranged husband Jim Threapleton today dismissed chances of a reconciliation but praised the Hollywood star for being a "spectacular mother".
The 27-year-old film director, reunited with their baby daughter Mia for the first time since Winslet announced their marriage was over on Monday, said the possibility of them getting back together was "not even worth talking about".
He added: "We are looking to have a positive future for our daughter."
Mia and Jim are pictured on the front page of the Sept 8 issue of The Daily Telegraph. Jim has spoken to reporters. This article is from Ananova Entertainment News:
"No Chance of Reconciliation, Says Kate Winslet’s Husband"
Winslet's estranged husband Jim Threapleton has dismissed chances of a
reconciliation with the star. The 27-year-old film director, reunited with their
baby daughter for the weekend, said the possibility of them getting back
together was "not even worth talking about". Speaking for the first
time on the couple's split, he praised the actress for being a "spectacular
According to reports, it was the first time he had seen daughter Mia since Titanic star Winslet announced their marriage was over on Monday.
Threapleton arrived on a scooter at the home he shared with Winslet in north London yesterday afternoon. He was quoted as saying: "We are looking to the future for Mia. We are looking to have a positive future for our daughter, that is the really important thing. It is amicable and we are still in constant contact. I would like to state categorically that Kate and I have taken an absolutely equal share in looking after Mia. She is a spectacular mother and I am extremely proud of both her and Mia."
Asked about the reasons for the split, Threapleton replied: "That is a private matter between Kate and me. Anything that has gone on in our relationship is entirely a private matter. As Kate said, this is entirely amicable. We see it as a positive step taken for Mia's benefit."
Threapleton was pictured still wearing his wedding ring yesterday but Winslet's was missing when she was pictured a few days ago.
Story filed: 03:30 Saturday 8th September 2001
The Sept 8 edition of The Mirror includes additional comments from Jim. I took note of his use of the word ‘unfortunately’ when talking about reconciliation:
"Jim Can’t Fix It"
'No hope' as husband heaps praise on Kate
Kate Winslet's estranged husband Jim Threapleton praised her as a mother yesterday but revealed that they had no plans to get back together.
Heartbroken Jim, reunited with their baby daughter Mia 90 minutes after Titanic star Kate, 25, had left her flat, said: "Kate is a spectacular mother. We are in constant contact and looking to have a positive future with Mia. That's the only important thing at the moment. I'll be around here all weekend, but no, unfortunately, that doesn't mean we are getting back together. Kate will obviously be away. We won't be under the same roof."
Asked if he hoped for a reconciliation, he said: "That's not even worth talking about at the moment, to you or with Kate."
It was the first time Jim had seen 11-month-old Mia since the couple announced earlier this week that their marriage was over. Jim, 26, was still wearing his wedding ring yesterday but Kate's was missing when she was pictured a few days ago.
Cuddling his daughter outside the flat in Holloway, North London, Jim said: "There has been a lot of speculation that Kate hasn't been taking an equal role in bringing up Mia this year. This is absolutely untrue. Kate is a spectacular mother. I'm extremely proud of both her and Mia and I'm just looking forward to being there for both of them. We are both taking an absolutely equal share in looking after Mia."
This story is from the Sept 8 issue of The Sun:
"Kate’s Jim Holding The Baby," By Julie Moult
Kate Winslet's estranged husband had an emotional reunion with their baby yesterday - giving him a precious moment of joy after a sad week.
It was the first time Jim Threapleton had seen daughter Mia since film star Kate announced their marriage was over on Monday.
He tenderly cradled the 11-month-old girl in his arms and kissed her. And he promised he and Kate would make sure Mia has a "positive future".
Film director Jim, who is spending the weekend with the tot, arrived on a scooter at the £500,000 home he shared with Kate in Holloway, North London.
The 25-year-old Titanic star quit the Georgian house 90 minutes earlier, leaving Mia with a nanny. She was driven to Holborn, Central London, where several family law firms are located.
Jim spent 90 minutes inside the house, then emerged carrying Mia.
He kissed the baby on the forehead. And breaking his silence on the end of his three-year marriage to Kate, he called the split "entirely amicable".
Jim, 27, refuted suggestions he had to take the lion's share of looking after Mia. He said: "Kate is a spectacular mother and I am extremely proud of her and Mia. We are looking to have a positive future for our daughter."
But he ruled out any chance of a reconciliation by saying: "That's not even worth talking about."
The Sept 8 issue of The Daily Record also has the story:
"My Kate’s A Great Mum"
Kate Winslet's estranged husband sprang to her defence yesterday as he was reunited with his baby daughter.
Film director Jim Threapleton, 26, took 11-month-old Mia out from Kate's London flat. He will stay there over the weekend looking after the baby while Kate is away.
But he hit out at speculation that the actress had not been pulling her weight in looking after Mia and his annoyance had contributed to their marital difficulties.
He said: "This is absolutely untrue. Kate is a spectacular mother. We are taking an equal share in looking after Mia."
Jim refused to comment on the reason for the split and, when asked if he had hopes of a reunion, replied: "That's not even worth talking about at the moment, to you or with Kate."
Here’s the article from the Daily Mail in which the identity of the sender of flowers was revealed:
Say Julia Understands," By Tony Bonnici
Most friends would opt for tea and sympathy. But Julia Roberts decided a grander gesture was in order to cheer up Kate Winslet after the end of her marriage. The Oscar winner sent an impressive bouquet worth £200 to Miss Winslet's flat in North London yesterday.
She apparently ordered the flowers from a New York florist who passed on the request to the fashionable London florist Paula Pryke with the stipulation that it must be 'something gorgeous'.
Miss Winslet, 25, who announced her three-year marriage to director Jim Threapleton was over this week, was delighted with the gift. 'The flowers were from Julia. I don't want there to be any speculation about who they were from,' she said yesterday.
Carrying her 11-month-old daughter Mia she said: 'I have thanked Julia for the flowers and the card. I always thank people for flowers.' She added: 'Jim and I are both fine. We are talking to each other all the time, every day.'
Miss Roberts, 35, who is currently dating married cameraman Daniel Moder, knows all about broken hearts. In 1995 she and husband Lyle Lovett divorced after less than two years of marriage. Her previous boyfriends included Kiefer Sutherland, who she ditched on the eve of their wedding for his friend Jason Patric. That romance also ended. Earlier this year, she broke off her engagement to actor Benjamin Bratt.
The florist who made the arrangement of roses, lilies, berries, and artichoke flowers said the accompanying note from Miss Roberts said something like: 'Thinking of you, hope you get through this.'
"Sense and Sensitivity"
Well, there’s something to be said at least for being one of Britain's biggest movie stars; when your love life falls apart - a select group of A-list friends will be there to help you pick up the pieces. Kate Winslet may have lost a husband, but she's gained a coterie of famous friends in the days following her separation announcement, all of whom are eager to give comfort and words of advice.
The first friend to offer a supportive shoulder to cry on was Winslet's Sense and Sensibility co-star Emma Thompson. It's only a short drive from Winslet's North London flat to Thompson's house and local press reported that hers was one of the first places Kate went for advice.
Now we hear that Julia Roberts has stepped in to show her support. A £200 bouquet of flowers arrived at Kate's flat yesterday from the Hollywood actress. 'I have thanked Julia for the flowers and the card,' Kate told The Daily Mail. 'I don't want there to be any speculation about who the flowers were from.'
From the Daily Record:
"Julia’s Words of Support To Sad Pal Kate"
Star sends flowers
Hollywood star Julia Roberts has offered Kate Winslet a touching message of support - and she said it with flowers.
As soon as the US actress heard Kate's marriage to film director Jim Threapleton had collapsed, she sent her a huge bouquet. The pounds 200 order for "something gorgeous" was placed at an upmarket New York florist. They faxed to trendy London outlet Paula Pryke in Islington, north London.
The shop made up a massive bunch of Anna roses, lilies, hypericum berries and artichoke flowers which was delivered to Kate's pounds 500,000 flat in Islington.
The florist who created the fabulous arrangement said the order came with precise instructions - and a personal message on a card. She said: "The message was something along the lines of, 'Thinking of you, hope you get through this. See you soon, lots of love, Julia.'"
Speaking outside her flat yesterday, Kate said: "I have thanked Julia for the flowers and the card. I always thank people for flowers. The flowers were from Julia. I don't want there to be any speculation about who they were from."
Pretty Woman actress Julia well understands the pain of failed relationships. After a short-lived marriage and a string of doomed romances, she and actor Benjamin Bratt split up this summer after a three-year relationship.
Yesterday, it emerged that despite their heartache, Kate, 25, and her estranged husband will continue working together in their joint film company, Ultra Films. They set up the firm, which was initially called Tell-Tale Films, a year ago. It has a contract to develop scripts and ideas with independent film-makers Intermedia. A spokesman for Intermedia said Jim, 26, had contacted them to say it was "business as usual".
Kate has taken starring roles in two films being made by Intermedia - Enigma, based on the Robert Harris novel, and Iris, about novelist Iris Murdoch. She is also due to star in and be executive producer of the company's Therese Raquin.
The Titanic star announced on Monday that her marriage was over. She described it as "an absolutely amicable separation" but Jim is said to be "inconsolable and bewildered". Both, however, have said that baby daughter Mia is their main priority.
From The Mirror:
"Kate Gets Support From Julia"
Kate Winslet is being comforted by superstar Julia Roberts, it was revealed yesterday.
The Pretty Woman star sent a £200 bouquet and a letter of support to Kate, who is divorcing husband Jim Threapleton.
Julia, 33, who recently broke up with boyfriend Benjamin Bratt, ordered the flowers from a shop in Islington, North London.
A member of staff said they were ordered by fax from New York shortly after the news of Kate's marriage split broke. She said: "The card had a couple of sentences along the lines of 'Dear Kate, thinking of you, hope you get through this all right'."
Julia has a string of failed relationships and is now dating a cameraman.
Kate, 25, said the split had hit her badly but she and Jim were "both fine and talking all the time".
She said she thanked Julia for the flowers.
Meanwhile, Jim, 26, and Kate are to continue working together at their movie firm Ultra Films. Jim said it was "business as usual".
Kate says the flowers she received the other day are from Julia Roberts, according to this Reuters report. The pic is the front page of tomorrow's edition of The Daily Mail (click on 'thumbnail' pic for larger version):
"Pretty Woman Julia Comforts Kate Winslet"
Hollywood star Julia Roberts, who split from her long-time love Benjamin Bratt in June, has been comforting British actress Kate Winslet in the aftermath of her marriage breakup, British newspapers reported on Friday.
"Titanic" star Winslet, who announced on Monday she was separating from Jim Threapleton after less than three years of marriage, told reporters outside her London home that Roberts had sent her an extravagant bouquet of flowers. "The flowers are from Julia. I don't want there to be any speculation about who they were from. I have thanked Julia for the flowers and card," papers quoted her as saying.
News of Winslet's breakup made headlines around the world. Threapleton's grandfather has said his grandson, an assistant film director, had struggled to cope with the pressures of Winslet's huge success while his own career languished.
Roberts, 33, Hollywood's highest-paid female star, has also been the object of a tabloid feeding frenzy since the abrupt end of her four-year affair with 37-year-old actor Bratt. Like Winslet, Roberts' breakup came as a shock to many who considered the relationship to be rock solid. U.S. newspapers have said Bratt struggled to cope with the pressure of life with one of the world's most famous women and initiated the break-up after he was unable to get Roberts to commit to marriage.
Roberts' checkered love life has regularly featured in magazines and tabloids since she shot to fame in the film ''Pretty Woman''. She was engaged to actor Kiefer Sutherland in 1991 but broke off the engagement shortly before their planned wedding. In 1993 she married country singer Lyle Lovett, but the couple divorced two years later.
Thanks to George for this Celebrity News item:
"Kate Winslet's Husband Could Get Megabuck Divorce Deal"
Kate Winslet may be forced to give estranged husband Jim Threapleton up to $4 million in a divorce settlement. The Titanic star has an estimated $7 million fortune, including an $1.04 million pumphouse on the Thames and a $494,000 house in Cornwall, earned from her well-paid film roles. Winslet's successful career is partly to blame for the break-up of the marriage which also effects the couple's 11-month-old baby daughter Mia. Friends of the couple say Threapleton had problems coping with his wife's showbiz career and concentrating on his own career as a script writer - he was often left home looking after the baby while Winslet was away for long periods filming. Winslet is being comforted today by her good friend and co-star actress.
‘Long periods’ filming isn’t exactly accurate, is it?
Amy Reiter has mentioned Kate again in her column for Salon magazine:
Granny's got a few things to say
Looks like Kate Winslet's plea for privacy from the prying eyes of the press as she and her husband, Jim Threapleton, head for Splitsville didn't make much of an impression on her in-laws.
The actress' soon-to-be-ex-husband's grandparents have apparently seen fit to weigh in on what went wrong with the young couple's marriage. "We have known for a little while that things are not good between them," Jean Threapleton told the London Daily Express. "Her work and his work often kept them apart. They seem to be under so much pressure that they don't have time for each other -- her with her film career and Jim writing."
Her husband, Norman, took it a step further. "I take the view that it was down to Kate's work that they split up," he said. "It is unfortunate it has come between them. She is a star. Jim is a bit of a quiet type and is trying to make his way in his own particular field. It is difficult. He wants to be recognized eventually in his own right and not to be just Kate's husband."
Or perhaps he'd rather not be recognized at all ...
The writer of the following article makes some interesting comments about the British press:
shouldn't a woman earn more than a man?," By Natasha Walter, The
When the news of Kate Winslet's separation from her husband broke earlier this week, nobody knew why this apparently happy, funny, endearing couple had hit the rocks. And why should they tell us? But even in the absence of interviews with the only two people who know the truth about why they had to part, commentators have had no compunction about diagnosing their ills.
Because they knew the real story. It was obvious, wasn't it? Clearly, Kate was just too successful for Jim. "Cracks first appeared," one tabloid newspaper journalist opined, "in Kate's perfect marriage when she went off to film Iris. While she was busy working, Jim was left alone looking after Mia. He is said to have become increasingly concerned at his role as a ‘house husband'."
When you look at the comments about Winslet and Threapleton, just try to imagine the situation the other way around - that while a male film star was off working on a new film, his unstarry wife was looking after their baby for a couple of months. Could this possibly be given such prominence in a tale about their subsequent split? Not a chance. But in any story about the break-up of a couple in which the woman is successful, her ambition will be assumed to be a destabilising factor.
Nobody knows for sure why this couple split up. But in the absence of sure knowledge nothing will stop the press, especially the tabloid press, rushing in to share its fake certainties and to prop up its own myths...
This almost unconscious judgment about the way that power should still work in a relationship is all the more bizarre given quite how many couples are now living happily with the fact that the woman earns more than the man. Yet despite the ease with which most couples would approach that situation, there is still a deep suspicion in society at such a state of affairs.
The reality of our society is that more and more women are finding fulfillment outside as well as inside the home, and few young women or men would question this situation - rather, as a deluge of surveys and an infinity of anecdotes show, they positively celebrate it. So in this rapidly changing world, isn't it time that the press got away from the hoary old cliche that says that the very fact of a woman's success must always be a threat to her mate?
A writer for the Guardian feels that ‘when women wear the trousers, it takes a man who is at ease with himself to embrace inequality’:
"When women wear the trousers," By Marina Cantacuzino
Celebrity is a destabilising condition: ordinary folk turned into demigods, their lives stripped for public consumption. No wonder they gather in clans, seeking out people who command comparable positions on the celebrity A, B or C lists. Only when celebrities pair up with the man or woman in the street - as Kate Winslet did three years ago when she married assistant director Jim Threapleton - can we breathe a sigh of recognition. At last someone who is content with a down to earth life with an ordinary man.
But of course it didn't work out. Kate Winslet's marriage was vulnerable on many fronts: long hours, unequal careers, plus the younger you get married the more likely it is that the marriage won't work. Even more significant was the switch in traditional gender roles and the pressure when one half of the partnership (female) has a traffic-stopping face and the other (male) is barely recognisable. Passion for a time seemed to obliterate the inequality but once daily life, children, work, took hold it was bound to become an issue.
Worldwide, research surveys into marital backgrounds have suggested that women's increased participation in the labour force makes marriages less stable: financial independence reduces women's willingness to remain in unsatisfactory marriages, work introduces them to new partners, and abandoning traditional homemaking puts an increased stress on the marriage. If women's growing role in the workforce puts a strain on marriage, then how much more so when her power and prestige is greater than her partner's.
But inequality doesn't have to be a problem. For more than 20 years I've been with a man who has played second fiddle. We met when I was 19 and ever since I've been the main breadwinner. Since we had our three children, he's been the part-time artist at home, while I've been out there shaping a career. It has worked because Dan, unlike most men, isn't competitive or driven by the desire to achieve. It takes a man with a small ego to do the kind of work which is not generally considered meaningful.
Cold Feet star Jimmy Nesbitt may have said that he dreams of being a full-time 'at home dad' (along with 90,000 British men), but dreams and reality are supermarket aisles apart. Successful house-husbands are the ones who enjoy women's company and were never work-oriented, nor fitted into traditional gender roles. Dan is far more versatile than I am. He can weld, plaster, convert lofts, cook, sew and cut hair. He is also intrinsically more adaptable (a trait usually attributed to women).
For others, it's a more conscious decision. When Tim Symonds got together with Lesley Abdela, the founder of The 300 Group, he suggested taking a behind-the-scenes role, while Abdela strove out in front. ''I think he chose a very tough path,'' Abdela says, ''especially back in the 80s when it was difficult for a man to say: 'I provide the support system.' For a long time he did a lot of the office work, but it was terrible to watch a man with a good creative brain trying to do something he hated.'' Their relationship has worked because Symonds, like my husband, has never felt any jealousy towards his partner and fully accepted his role, despite occasional ego bruising and bouts of isolation.
Successful marriages where husbands play second fiddle to powerful women (Claire Rayner, Margaret Thatcher), have worked because the men have been able to relinquish their 'top dog' instinct to become loyal, pragmatic husbands who admire rather than envy their wives. If, as Gore Vidal said, ''Whenever a friend succeeds a little something in me dies,'' then potentially how much more acute the envy between partners? Success in women isn't easy for people to digest. The higher a woman rises, the fewer potential partners she meets, whereas a man's possibilities increase with success. As relationships counsellor Zelda West-Meads once said. ''Respecting their partner is very important to women and a woman married to a successful man will put up with a hell of a lot.'' On the other hand, ''Men are generally threatened by a woman who is more successful than they are.'' Switch genders in the Winslet marriage and the pressures would have been far less.
Men in 'reduced' roles struggle with the loss of male identity in our culture (superiority and privilege). A recent study published by the British Psychological Association found that men with partners in high-flying careers are more than twice as likely as their partners to become depressed after listening to the rigours of their working day. Status and standing in life are traditionally more important to males than females. And when children come along and men are expected to share equally in the tasks, they find it near impossible. As Naomi Wolf writes in her new book, Misconceptions, ''With the baby's arrival, social and economic pressures conspired with a kind of internal vulnerability to shunt the woman back into the more dependent role.'' It takes a man who is happy and at ease with himself to stand proudly in the shadows and embrace inequality.
I’m sorry to report that the writers for UK papers are stooping lower and lower. A writer for the Daily Record quotes a neighbor who claims Jim was ‘henpecked’, states that Kate is expected to allow him to keep the proceeds from the sale of their house, and that Jim was seen in a pub last night drinking. This from a writer who doesn’t know how to spell her last name:
"Winslett Gives Her Husband The House"
Actress plans divorce deal
Heartbreak beauty Kate Winslet plans to give estranged husband Jim Threapleton their pounds 800,000 house in a divorce settlement. The converted riverside pumphouse is on the market following the collapse of their three-year marriage. Kate moved back to her bachelor girl pad in London from the house in Walton-on-Thames in Surrey six weeks ago. She is expected to let Jim, 26, keep the proceeds from the sale. Jim, who was an assistant director when he met Kate, could eventually receive more than pounds 2million. The couple wed in 1998 without signing a pre-nuptial agreement.
The Titanic star has a pounds 5.5million fortune, modest in movie terms despite her Hollywood success.
A friend said: "Money will not be an issue. Any settlement will be quick and clean. The emotional wounds will take longer."
Friends have said living in her shadow proved too much for the devoted father and may have doomed their marriage. And a neighbour said the bombshell break-up came as no surprise to him. He said: "It's fair to say they have a tempestuous and fiery marriage. Occasionally you can hear her swearing in her posh voice - it sounds funny to hear someone with that accent swearing." He said that on one occasion a fiery bust up had ended in glasses being smashed. He added: "I think he's extremely henpecked and he's always being told what to do by her."
Kate, 25, confessed yesterday that she was feeling "shaky" after the break-up. She looked emotional and exhausted as she left her home with baby Mia carrying a J-shaped keyring bearing Jim's name. Asked how she was coping, Kate, said: "I'm a bit shaky but not too bad."
The actress's father Roger later said: "Kate is all right."
She earlier described the split with Jim as "amicable" and a "mutual decision". But a friend said Jim, who met Kate while filming in Morocco, was "inconsolable and bewildered".
Meanwhile, Jim drowned his sorrows with a night out at a pub in London's Notting Hill Gate
One bar worker said: "He wasn't in tears or anything, he was just sitting there looking quite serious, having a few drinks."
Boy, that neighbor is really p****ng me off! He certainly wants to see his opinions published. I'm LOL that this reporter didn't publish the neighbor's name (as others have) - that's what he wants.
The same basic story is published in The Mirror:
"Jim Gets The £800K House"
Exclusive: Kate wants ‘quick and clean’ divorce
Kate Winslet's estranged husband Jim Threapleton is to cash in on the couple's £800,000 house in a divorce settlement. The couple's luxury riverside home has been put on the market and actress Kate is expected to let Jim keep the proceeds from the sale in a one-off payment. She left the converted pumphouse in Walton-on-Thames, Surrey, after the collapse of the pair's three-year marriage.
The Titanic star, who also owns property in Cornwall and London, is said to be worth £5.5million. Last night friends of 26-year-old Jim said he stands to get a £2million settlement.
It is thought the couple, who married in November 1998, did not sign a pre-nuptial agreement. But a source close to Kate said: "Money will not be an issue. Any settlement will be quick and clean. The emotional wounds will take longer."
Yesterday Kate, 25, confessed she was feeling "shaky" over the split. Cradling 11-month-old daughter Mia in her arms, she looked emotional and drained. When asked how she was coping she replied: "Not bad." She then carried Mia to a Jeep outside her flat in Holloway, North London, where she has been staying since the break-up. Her dad Roger said later: "She is all right."
Kate may have ditched her wedding ring, but yesterday it seemed she couldn't put all thoughts of Jim out of her mind. The actress carried a brass key ring with a big letter J dangling from it.
Last night Jim drowned his sorrows at a bar in London's Notting Hill Gate. Friends have said he is "inconsolable and bewildered". One worker at the Westbourne pub said: "He wasn't in tears. He was just sitting there looking quite serious, having a few drinks."
Meanwhile, one of Kate's Holloway neighbours told how the couple would row up to three times a week at the flat during Jim's visits. One bust-up ended with glass smashing. The man, who did not want to be named [yeah, right!], said: "It's fair to say they have a fiery marriage. You could hear both of them yelling at each other. Occasionally you could hear her swearing in her posh voice. I think he's extremely henpecked and was always being told what to do. I feel very sorry for him. She's a little bit demanding, well she is a Hollywood star. I think she forgets this is Holloway not Hollywood."
I am so sick of that guy talking about "her posh voice". Give it a rest!
Another article of speculation, from the UK Times:
"End of a perfect marriage," By Jessica Davies
Until recently Kate Winslet had been telling reporters that she had the ideal marriage. So why has her apparently happy relationship ended so abruptly? The announcement that Kate Winslet’s marriage has collapsed was as shockingly unbelievable as the news, earlier this week, that Samantha Fox is a lesbian. If it were April, you would assume that you were being fooled.
But as it’s September, you are left feeling slightly let down, wondering how the 25-year-old actress could have glided through so many recent gushy interviews - "I look at him and say ‘You’re damn sexy’" - when the reality must have been horribly different.
This was a show-business marriage that really did seem to have legs. Winslet met her husband, Jim Threapleton, in Morocco on the set of Hideous Kinky. Titanic was about to make her a star. But although Threapleton, with whom she says she fell in love at first sight, was a third assistant director, their relationship flourished and they married in November 1998. Despite huge financial blandishments, neither Hello! nor OK! was invited to record the day, which - in typical Winslet fashion - included a reception in a pub where guests were served mulled wine, kegged beer and vegetable soup.
Just for once you felt that here was a celebrity who had worked out what really matters in life. Most notably, Winslet left a lasting and touching impression on even the most cynical of observers when she chose to attend the funeral of her former boyfriend, Stephen Tredre, rather than the American premiere of Titanic.
We all knew where we stood with her: honest, warm-hearted, prone to weight gain, one of us. The birth of her daughter Mia just under a year ago simply added to the picture of Winslet’s gift for uncomplicated domestic happiness. The Threapletons announced that they would do without a nanny and that they would share the care of their daughter, which they did with evident success. And in this month’s InStyle magazine Winslet, described as "radiating the kind of contentment that’s impossible to fake", declared herself "very lucky" in her marriage. It was the culmination of a series of upbeat interviews given to promote her new film, Enigma, and nobody - not even some of Winslet’s close friends, apparently - had any reason to doubt that the marriage was fine.
So what was going on? Was she, after all, faking it, desperate to camouflage the cracks in her marriage? Or was it the case that even while she was publicly declaring her faith in her marriage, her husband had become disillusioned? The statement put out by Winslet’s spokesman was bleak: the couple had decided to separate and "no other parties are involved". In my experience the minute a celebrity announces that their separation does not involve anyone else, human nature being what it is, everybody starts to speculate. While no one ever knows the half of what goes on in anyone else’s marriage, it is hard to think of another reason why Winslet - so sure that her marriage was strong just a few weeks ago - would now be equally sure that it is over. A friend has been quoted as saying that reconciliation is out of the question, and that Winslet is talking of divorce.
It has already been suggested that the relationship was soured by Threapleton’s inability to keep up with his wife’s astonishing professional success. While the plan had been to take it in turns to work and look after Mia, the reality was that while she was deluged with exciting and lucrative offers, Threapleton’s career was not taking off. Thus, while Winslet went off to film Enigma, Thérèse Raquin [not yet] and Iris: A Memoir of Iris Murdoch, her husband stayed at home changing nappies - a situation that would undermine the strongest of young marriages.
Winslet assured InStyle that the difference in status was not an issue - and perhaps it wasn’t for her (though I can think of few successful young women who would find the idea of a stay-at-home husband sexy). But for Threapleton, an ambitious 26-year-old, it cannot have been easy to watch Winslet continue her extraordinary professional trajectory while he was at home with Mia, perhaps even turning down offers of work because of his wife’s commitments.
Perhaps he grew tired of playing second fiddle to the garrulous, much-loved actress. After all, he had met her before she was a household name, at a time when she was recovering from the shock of Tredre’s illness and death. Perhaps he was starting to feel taken for granted and restless about his own professional future. And perhaps, while his wife sincerely believed that their arrangement made them the "perfect family", he felt increasingly frustrated and undermined.
Winslet recently attended the Edinburgh premiere of Enigma on her own, where she was photographed with co-star Dougray Scott. While there is no suggestion of any involvement there (he is happily married to the casting director Sarah Trevis), cynics will inevitably speculate whether Winslet, who recently lost 4st and has never looked better, has met someone else.
Whatever the truth, Winslet has proved to be the consummate professional - able to breeze convincingly through countless interviews without betraying her unhappiness. She is, after all, a great actress, and that is what great actresses do for a living. But if that is the case, we will have to get used to the idea of an altogether different Kate Winslet. Mouthy, boisterous and confident, yes. Still loveable, but not the uncomplicated Kate we thought we knew.
From the Daily Record:
"Key To OK Kate"
Kate Winslet and her husband Jim Threapleton may have split up - but she still carries a personal memento of him.
She's shed her wedding ring and moved back to her bachelor-girl flat, but the Titanic star carries a J-shaped key ring bearing his name.
It was on show yesterday when she headed out with baby Mia strapped to her in north London.
Kate said: "I'm pretty shaky, but I'm all right."
Meanwhile, a star pal - thought to be Emma Thompson - sent Kate a bouquet of 200 flowers yesterday to cheer her up after the big break-up.
Still more speculation - this time from the Telegraph:
"A Shadow Too Long To Live In"
It's never easy when a woman is more successful than her husband, says Cassandra Jardine. But has Kate Winslet given up too soon?
Who was surprised when Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise split up? How many of us truly cared when Demi Moore and Bruce Willis parted? None of us, I expect. But when I read yesterday that Kate Winslet - lovely, bouncy, normal Kate - and her husband of nearly three years, Jamie Threapleton, were "respectfully" and "amicably" separating, I was shocked.
Not because she was telling us, only last week, that her marriage was stronger than ever. Nor at the thought of baby Mia, who is a month short of her first birthday. No, this break-up is particularly unnerving because it seems to show that even the best-founded marriages can buckle under certain pressures.
According to various anonymous friends, the fundamental reason behind the split seems to be that Kate's success and Jim's unemployment made life unbearable. Many of us can identify with these circumstances: marriages in which the woman is more successful than the man may be a relatively new phenomenon, but they are far from rare. When my own husband - an actor - is between jobs, it can be hard on both of us.
It isn't easy for men who were brought up to be breadwinners to feel in thrall to their wives. Threapleton, 26, whose father was a group captain in the RAF, is unlikely to be an exception. Naturally, he was going to be overshadowed when he married the twice Oscar-nominated star, but it had seemed for a time as if he would cope.
As for Winslet, though only 25, she seemed to understand that "an actor's happiness has to come from something other than work." She appeared to be aware of the difference between what made her "feel real" and what made her "career buzz". Marriage to Threapleton made her feel safe, she said; it made her laugh, gave her someone with whom to share delight in their child. "There's nothing more important than my relationship with Jim," she said. But now, we are told that he has felt angry at being left holding the baby while his wife's career surged ahead. Perhaps it was a mistake not to hire a nanny.
There seems little hope of a new start, however: their old pump house by the Thames is up for sale, and Kate has retreated to her bachelor girl flat in north London with their daughter, Mia.
No one, of course, expected the marriage to crumble so quickly. Kate, the product of an enduring marriage, never seemed the type to bolt at the first hint of trouble. After Titanic, she did not, as Emma Thompson put it, "saunter off to Hollywood" - instead, she took a role in a low-budget film, Hideous Kinky, and fell in love with Threapleton, the movie's third assistant director.
Their wedding in November 1998 took place in the church near her family home in Reading and they honeymooned in Yorkshire and Scotland. When she deliberately rushed into motherhood, she did not sport one of those infuriatingly neat bumps that grace the front cover of glossy magazines. She preferred to be "curvy Kate rather than some skinny stick," she said - and women cheered.
But perhaps we should have heard the warning bells when Winslet said that Threapleton brought her back down to earth. Did she think she was on another planet? Could her apparent normality have been partly an act? Winslet, after all, has never known the grind of working for qualifications or the boredom of first-rung jobs. At 17, she was already being acclaimed for her role in Heavenly Creatures. Perhaps she proclaimed her ordinariness a little too loudly. She managed to shed that proud-to-be-plump attitude as easily as the pounds when it suited her.
As an actress, she is noted for her ability to "live" her roles. In Sense and Sensibility, the romantic atmosphere so overcame her that she fainted several times during filming. Even as a tot, she apparently gave a highly charged performance as the Virgin Mary in the school nativity play.
When she fell for Jim Threapleton, was she enthusiastically throwing herself into what amounted to another role - the heroine who had met the man of her dreams? No one doubts that she loved him, but she was for ever talking about their romance as if she needed the validation of her public.
Marriages, even celebrity marriages, where the woman is doing better than the man, can work. Joely Richardson may have dumped Jamie Theakston because he couldn't keep up, but Caroline Quentin and director Sam Farmer remain solid. He was a runner when she met him on the set of Jonathan Creek and, even though she still earns far more, she has the tact to allow him to pay the bills. Meryl Streep and her artist husband have stayed together for 20-odd years and have four children.
It takes years to develop the art of boosting somebody else's self-confidence, and Winslet probably has much to learn. But it also takes an exceptional young man to put his wife's career first.
More speculation from The Daily Mail - the audacity of this reporter is almost beyond belief. Talk about hitting someone when they're down - geesh! Ms. Lee-Potter feels Kate possesses great talent and beauty - but is always 'acting' in public:
Fame Was Kiss Of Death For Jim," By Lynda Lee-Potter
When Kate Winslet married Jim Threapleton she was plump and quite famous. She's now thin and hugely famous. Meanwhile, her marriage to her rather ordinary looking, unsuccessful, impecunious husband is over.
'No other parties are involved in this amicable and respectful separation,' says her spokesman, which is a ridiculous comment. A marriage split is never amicable because, invariably, there is a partner who wants to leave and one who wants to battle on. The official statement probably used the strange word 'respectful' as Kate wished to make it clear they are not splitting up because she's got too big for her boots, let fame go to her head or begun to think her rarely employed chap is a failure.
They met when he was a third assistant film director, which means dogsbody. Since then, he's rarely worked. They're parting, I suspect, because she got bored with a house-husband who looked after the baby. He, no doubt, thought that it was time she spent more time at home.
The announcement is no surprise because they always seemed an illmatched couple. It was difficult to think of the alluring Kate as Mrs Threapleton, though she always tried to boost her husband's ego. She talked at length about their love, happiness and their future.
When they first met she was purporting to be the girl next door. She was terrified of being seduced by fame so, instinctively, chose an ordinary boy and talked about him as if he were Mr Darcy.
She's always extolled her ordinariness but she's not ordinary. She was a child actress who comes from a theatrical family. She began her career at 13 in a Sugar Puffs ad and rarely stops acting, even off stage. For a long time she acted the part of a young, besotted wife with a perfect life.
When she became a sensation in Titanic she acted being unspoilt. When she was plump she acted the role of a woman who was proud of her curves and her cleavage.
Then she went on a diet and said when she'd been porky she'd hated herself. She rewrites the script of her life, believes the new version and then plays the part with emotional intensity.
Now she's playing the part of a wife who is devastated at the end of her marriage to a good man. In her heart I suspect she's relieved. She was only 22 when they began to live together. He was her first serious romance after she split with scriptwriter Stephen Tredre, who died of cancer in 1997. She was anguished by his death and clearly needed a shoulder to cry on.
It should have been a summer romance but it developed into marriage. He comforted her and told her he loved her sturdy figure. She believed him for a while but then the real, focused, steely Kate emerged. She's an instinctive, terrific actress with a luminous beauty who's going to be a huge star. She insists there's no other chap but I'd be surprised if that were true for long. Most half-tolerable marriages stagger on until one partner meets somebody else.
She works in a heady environment surrounded by dazzling people. She's been motivated to lose four stone, and nothing takes a woman's appetite away more than the thought of a new romance.
Kate's days of purporting to be the unspoilt ingenue are over. She's finally come to terms with her fame and her future, so Jim had to go. There's no role for him now in her powerful world.
Well, people are already speculating about divorce settlements (ugh!) - From the London Evening Standard:
"Divorce May Net Threapleton £2m," by Harriet Arkell
Kate Winslet and her husband Jim Threapleton are consulting divorce lawyers in the wake of their marriage breakdown, it was revealed today. The couple are believed to have married without a pre-nuptial agreement, leaving the way open for Mr Threapleton, a third assistant director when he met the actress, to gain a settlement of more than £2 million.
Largely thanks to Miss Winslet's lucrative film roles, the couple's homes include an £800,000 pumphouse in Surrey and a £380,000 home in Cornwall. While her fortune is estimated at more than £5.5 million, her professional success is also blamed for the failure of the marriage.
Mr Threapleton's grandfather Norman, 83, a retired draughtsman, said: "She is a star, I suppose. Jim is trying to make his way in his own particular field. It is difficult. He is a bit of a quiet type. I do not know whether all this theatrical and film life has gone down well with him. It is not really his thing. James just wants to be recognised eventually in his own right - write his scripts and get away from things - and not to be just Kate's husband."
His grandmother Jean, 73, said: "Kate likes company and the limelight whereas Jim is quiet. He is not the pushy type. We have known for a little while that things are not good between them. Her work and his work often kept them apart. "
Friends of the couple, who married in November 1998 and have an 11-month-old daughter, Mia, said Mr Threapleton, 27, found it difficult to reconcile his Oscar-nominee wife's career with his own ambitions. While her star roles require her to spend long periods away filming, he spent more time at home alone looking after the baby.
A neighbour at Miss Winslet's old flat in north London, where she has been living for the last six weeks, said: "I have seen both of them in the last few weeks, and it was always her a few paces ahead of him, while he was always carrying the baby." Miss Winslet, 25, who is looking after Mia, said yesterday that the split was "amicable", but neighbours in Holloway said they had heard angry rows for weeks. Simon Hancock, 34, who lives in the same house, said: "They would argue from 7am sometimes until late at night. Kate would scream 'f***ing this' and 'f***ing that' in her posh voice."
Today Miss Winslet is said to be being comforted by close friend, actress Emma Thompson. Mr Threapleton, a keen surfer, is believed to have fled to their home near Tintagel, Cornwall.
This Evening Standard columnist, in a sarcastic tone, blames Kate’s new shape for the break-up:
"Warning: Diets Kill Marriages," By Melanie McDonagh
Isn't it just too awful about the break-up of the famously blissful union of Kate Winslet and Jim Threapleton? It seems only last week - why, it was only last week - that Hello! magazine concluded its moving report on the Titanic actress with the words: "With renewed confidence, a supportive husband, a daughter to dote on and the film world at her feet, life is sweet. 'I know we're very lucky,' she admits."
Well, we barely had time to digest our sour grapes when the news emerged. Kate, 25, had decamped with baby Mia to her old flat in Holloway where a musician neighbour helpfully reported that he had heard rowing twice this week. Why might that be? One possibility is that there was a Julia Roberts-style situation here: a couple in which the wife is a sought after celebrity and the husband a not-very-successful film director, unemployed for much of the marriage. This is the counter-feminist scenario; for some, proof positive that real men don't like being outearned by their wives. And I'm not awfully convinced by Kate Winslet's tearful pronouncement that: "This is absolutely an amicable separation ... Jim and I have great respect for each other. There is no malice at all." The notion of a non-hostile, respectful separation of husband and wife is very fine, but I never believe it myself.
My own view is much simpler. I blame the diet. This is a girl who, for much of her career, made a selling point of being a bit of a ball of lard. She vigorously defended herself - "Why slag off my physicality?" - when the thin brigade criticised her for putting on weight after Titanic. One of the things she liked about her husband was that he fancied her nice chunky shape. She remarked with spirit that "I'm the youngest person to be nominated for an Academy Awards, and that wasn't for being a skeleton".
And now she too has gone the skeleton route. Kate Winslet's separation from her husband happened immediately after losing no less than three-and-a-half stone with a regime prescribed by the celebrated therapist, Elizabeth Gray Gibaud, who works with Chinese facial diagnosis (honest). Obviously the technique works. But you have to ask yourself, what agonies of soul are you going to go through in order to lose that much weight that fast? How crabby are you going to get on the basis of ongoing secular self-denial? I ask you: was Miss Winslet getting enough chocolate, enough potatoes?
A dietician from the University of Lausanne told me recently that if you cut down too much on your carbohydrates, you end up feeling depressed. "Not enough seratonin," she said firmly.
You see? Look no further for the cause of all those rows than the fact that the girl was hungry. The moral of this sorry story is simple: diets are bad for your marriage.
From Claudia Pattison’s London Evening Standard article, ‘There’s Never Too Much Celebrity’:
...With the combined circulation of Hello!, OK!, Heat and Now currently topping 1.5 million, Britain, it seems, is fast becoming a nation of celebrity junkies. And it’s not just the glossies - in recent years, newspaper editors of both broadsheets and tabloids have woken up to the public’s fascination with the minutiae of celebrities’ lives. These days, coverage of the race for the Tory leadership, the refugee crisis and the latest rail chaos has to fight for front-page space with details of Tom and Nicole’s divorce settlement or Kate Winslet’s latest diet, or marital breakdown.
So why are we so interested in the lavish lifestyles, lovely weddings and beautiful babies of the rich and famous? I suspect it’s because they are so far removed from our own humdrum existence. Watching the human dramas unfold in the lives of the Beckhams, say, or the Cruise-Kidmans helps us forget our own problems, if only for a short while. But not even I, as a showbiz journalist and former staff writer at OK!, fully understand the cult of celebrity...
Libby Brooks has written a thoughtful commentary for the Guardian about why so many people care about Kate:
care about Kate: Just another tedious celebrity break-up? Not at all, says Libby
Brooks, because Kate Winslet holds a special place in our hearts. She's the real
It was with only a brief twinge of guilt over waste of newspaper resources that I snaffled a selection of colour prints from the office last autumn, and brought them home to argue with my best friend over which looked best on the front of our fridge. The prints in question came from a collection of photographs released by the actor Kate Winslet, and her husband Jim Threapleton, shortly after the birth of their daughter Mia in October last year. My favourite showed Winslet, wearing a knitted zip-up top straight off the peg from Warehouse, staring into the camera with an expression of consuming, if weary, joy, as though at any moment she might throw back her head at the thrill of it all, or burst into tears. Her forehead was touching that of her husband, who was watching intently over the tiny sleeping form of their baby girl, around whom the couple had linked hands. It looked like an advert for love.
So it was with a visceral 'thwump' of sadness that I saw the headlines yesterday, announcing Winslet's separation from the 'glorious-looking boy with blue eyes' after three years of marriage. Silly, of course, to feel sorry about a situation one knows nothing about, involving people one has never met. Embarrassing, to be so trivially concerned, on a morning that also brought news of the implosion of the UN Conference on Racism and the continuing row over illegal immigrants.
If we can turn over the page to avoid pictures of famine victims, we must surely be similarly inured to the molasses of celebrity melodrama manufactured or otherwise spread thickly across the mass media each day. But empathy is where you find it in these compassion-fatigued times.
The following days will doubtless witness a veritable tsunami of speculation, as the unravelling of the Winslet-Threapleton union is eviscerated for all to see. A spare statement from her publicist on Monday night stated that no other parties were involved, and that their daughter would remain the first priority in what was 'an amicable and respectful separation'. Fuelled by her own apparently contradictory remarks in a recent interview with InStyle magazine, in which she said that having a baby had strengthened her relationship, rumour and gossip will wreathe the unhappy couple. Was she too successful? Was there an affair? Were they too young?
And will the witnessing public care? Yes, I suspect, and more than usual. Kate Winslet has always stood apart from the celebrity panoply of talents, teases and tragic heroines. A redoubtable actor, she radiates a fearless emotional honesty in person as well as in performance. Intelligent, immoderate and inconsistent, she calls a spade a bloody shovel.
Her rejection of the trappings of superstardom never felt like a pose. Her desire to be seen as natural never overtook her determination to remain complex. She served bangers and mash at her wedding because she wanted to. Winslet has always come across as a creature who runs at life full tilt and, because of that, there will be no schadenfreude now that she has briefly fallen flat on her face.
Since any old body can become our intimate tea-break chum, via the pages of Hello! or a few frames of daytime television, we demand authenticity far more than we do aspiration or knowingness. We don't need our stars to share the joke which is, anyhow, on us, since it's always our money, their pockets. As we become increasingly confined by the hyper-mediation of the modern world, we crave the authentic far more than the fantasy.
And it's not such a mystery in whom we choose to invest. For all her porcelain perfection and super-couple status, Nicole Kidman's raucous personality was continually slipping out under the wire. Following her divorce from Tom Cruise, she has excelled in keeping it ever more cheekily real: arriving at a premiere clutching the hands of her best girlfriends, naughty asides about wanting a man who is taller than her, that memorable photograph of her, arms aloft, exiting the divorce lawyer's office for the final time.
Victoria Beckham, whose autobiography Learning to Fly has been hard to avoid this week, may embrace all the fame-related fraff that Winslet so loudly rejects. But there's something gloriously raw about the way she totters from fashion show to football match, giving Naomi what for, loving her man, doting on her we'an. She revels in her some would say inexplicable celebrity entitlement, her lifestyle an extended two-fingers up to the kids at school who laughed at her spots.
Kate Winslet is particularly popular with women. Her beauty is of the friendly variety, and any threat from it is neutralised by her constantly yo-yo-ing weight. Her bravura declarations in favour of cake, interspersed with bouts of weight consciousness, reflect the confusion most women feel about the shape they are, the shape they know they ought to feel comfortable with, and the shape they want. Her recent post-pregnancy sloughing of four stones, and accompanying comments that her bottom 'looked like purple sprouting broccoli', were typical of her approach.
Women were similarly encouraged by her domestic arrangements. Threapleton, whom she met on the set of the film Hideous Kinky, had agreed to stay at home to look after Mia while Winslet pursued her film commitments. Inevitably, it has been alleged that her continuing stardom, and her husband's frustration at his own lack of career success, put a strain on the marriage.
Yet it seemed like the ideal negotiation a thoroughly 21st-century determination that men should be as involved in childcare as their partners, and an ego-free acknowledgement of the economic realities of their relationship. We wanted it to work.
And we wanted to be right. Just as we pretend that we can differentiate between real and fake celebrities, so we flatter ourselves that we can spot a healthy coupling. Winslet's ordinariness was made more believable by her coupling with non-celeb Threapleton. She was capable of loving outside the bubble, and not hostage to the desperate pair-bonding of the famous.
If growing older involves a gradual winnowing out of dreams, then the first to go are those hopeless, hopeful fancies of everlasting, effortless romance. We replace them with our own hard-learned lessons: that sometimes loving someone madly isn't enough, that the best you can wish for is that a lover will show you kindness, even when they're leaving you.
But watching Winslet's love writ large, we allowed our own more lavish dreams a moment to flex again. And, romantics that we are, we relished the sparkle.
Thomas Sutcliffe weighs in on the other end of the scale with a blast at Kate for ‘succumbing to the fantasy’ in this commentary in today’s Independent:
Poisonous Fantasy of These Fairytale Marriages," By Thomas Sutcliffe
They’re already rounding up the usual suspects. A celebrity relationship has collapsed and inquiries are under way as to the causes of the tragedy. "Career pressures'' is in the frame, as usual, and it won't be very long, presumably, before someone mentions the goldfish bowl of fame or the curse of Hello. But the culprit is much closer to hand, and its fingerprints can be seen all over the accounts of the break-up of Kate Winslet's marriage. She hasn't fallen prey to glossy photo-spreads but to the blight of the happiness myth.
The first thing to say about this sundering is that only the profoundly credulous would be startled by it. "The shock separation was said to be the culmination of weeks of arguments between the couple'' one tabloid reporter wrote. Clearly not that much of a shock then, except, that is, to those who have been protected from such details by a press determined to present this union as a kind of Platonic ideal.
"Their marriage was always seen as one of the most solid in showbusiness'', another paper observed - effortlessly skating over the fact that they had been married a mere three years. And who had "always seen'' this marriage as a model of granite durability? Well, the tabloids themselves, of course, who never missed an opportunity to gloss Winslet's domestic circumstances as perfect.
To be fair, there are some signs that she resisted this infantile simplification of her life. "Having a baby has strengthened the relationship'', she confided to In Style magazine, "although there are highs and lows and, at times, it's tough''. But she also fed the myth, in interview after interview. "When you know, you know - that's what I've been told all my life - and now I know'', she said about her first encounter with husband-to-be Jim Threapleton.
Later, interviewed about her role as Iris Murdoch in a forthcoming film based on John Bayley's memoir, she said, "the film gives me inspiration to see how Iris and John worshipped each other. They seemed to have their own magical, untouchable world. That's what I want and intend to have with Jim''.
You might think that anyone who sets out to build their marriage into a "magical, untouchable world'' deserves to come down to earth with a bump. But Winslet is only guilty here of succumbing to the fantasy that she helps to promulgate.
Indeed there's a curious ambivalence to the cliches of celebrity bliss that precisely echoes the swoony delusion of that remark. The journalists talk of "fairytale weddings'' and "dream homes'' and "fabulous lifestyle'', acknowledging that this is all a chimera at the same moment that they lay it before us as achieved and enviable fact.
And it's in the envy that the poison of the happiness myth lies - a poison that can turn back even on the notional possessors of this perfection. The idea of "the blissfully happy marriage'' is damaging enough for most of us but what must it do to those regularly depicted as paragons of matrimonial happiness? How deeply must the acid of invidious comparison bite into them? In truth, to ask of someone whether they are happily married is as meaningless as asking a person whether they have nice weather where they live - it mistakes a dynamic state for a static one. It also implies that happiness comes as a banded pack with a husband and wife - rather than being a hard won by-product of matrimony.
The framers of the Declaration of Independence got it right. We have a right to pursue happiness, but we would all be more content if we had modest expectations about catching it. Next time round, Kate Winslet should talk a bit less about possessing happiness and a bit more about working towards it. I can't say what it would do for her but it would be a small contribution to human happiness in general.
Leave it to Amy Reiter of Salon magazine for getting in another jab at Kate:
Juicy Bits --
Kate Winslet has gushed about her marriage and described the most intimate details of pregnancy, childbirth and their effects on her body. But now that she and her husband, Jim Threapleton, are splitting the sheets, she'd really like us all to respect her privacy. "This is an absolutely amicable separation and it is a mutual decision between both of us," she told reporters on Tuesday. "Jim and I have great respect for each other. There is no malice at all. It is extremely sad but we are all fine. Jim and I are both communicating constantly. Mia [the couple's 11-month-old daughter] remains the happy child that she always has been. That is all and I would be grateful now if you would respect our privacy." I guess sharing with the world that your is one thing ...
"Hollywood Legends Battle To Find True Love"
LONDON (Reuters) - From Marilyn Monroe to Julia Roberts, Hollywood legends have battled to match screen magic with real-life romance.
Now "Titanic" star Kate Winslet has joined the long list of showbiz casualties whose marriages wilted under the spotlight. Yet another big star has found out the hard way about the perils of permanent romance in an ephemeral world where egos and insecurity abound in equal measure.
Last month, it was the turn of Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise to split, firmly burying show business tales of the perfect Hollywood marriage of two stars happily juggling their careers. Now it is Winslet's turn to face the misery under the full glare of the media picking over the remnants of her marriage.
"A Titanic Mismatch," was the conclusion of the Daily Mail after her split from Jim Threapleton, the assistant director she met on the set of her film "Hideous Kinky." "In the end, a house husband proved to be not quite enough for a truly international superstar," the paper said. "Hubby so unhappy living in Kate's Shadow," decided the Sun tabloid, which devoted a five-page special to the end of a high-profile marriage that lasted less than three years.
But that was quite a marathon by some Hollywood standards. Julia Roberts split with country singer Lyle Lovett after two years. Jennifer Lopez lasted just one year with Ojani Noa, whom she had met on a film set. Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid married on Valentine's Day in 1991. "Irreconcilable differences" was the reason for their divorce 10 years later. Harrison Ford has split with Melissa Mathison, who he married in 1983. "Irreconcilable differences" once more were cited. Up came the same mantra when Demi Moore and Bruce Willis split.
Storm Clouds Ahead
Winslet, twice nominated for an Oscar, was hailed as direct and down-to-earth, the star who wouldn't let the stardom go to her head. She was going to be different. In interview after interview she gushed adoringly about the love of her life. "I saw this glorious boy and I knew that was it," she said.
Only once did she hint at storm clouds ahead, confessing in one interview: "Although having a baby has strengthened the relationship there are highs and lows -- and at times it is tough."
After the surprise split, red-eyed Winslet clutched their 11-month-old daughter Mia to her side and insisted: "Jim and I have a great respect for each other. There's no malice. It's extremely sad but we are all fine."
Threapleton's grandfather Norman told a very different story: "She's a star while Jim is trying to make his way in his own field. Jim is a bit of a quiet type and I don't know whether all this theatrical and film life has gone down well with him."
Long-life marriages are so often the exception, not the rule in show business -- Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward have proved the doom merchants wrong.
But for sheer tempestuousness, no one can beat Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. Married twice, divorced twice, they couldn't live together, they couldn't live apart.
From the UK Guardian:
Break-up Blamed on Diverging Careers"
The shockwaves surrounding Kate Winslet's split from her husband, Jamie Threapleton, continue to dominate this morning's papers with members of his family blaming the separation on the couple's diverging careers.
Thereapleton's grandfather, speaking to the Daily Mirror, said that Winslet's huge success had placed enormous pressure on the young couple. "She's a star while Jim is trying to make his way in his own field," he said. "I don't know whether all this theatrical and film life has gone down well with him. Its not really his thing."
Meanwhile, Threapleton's grandmother told the Express: "We have known for a little while that things are not good between them. Her work and his work often kept them apart. Kate likes company and the limelight whereas Jim is quiet. His is not a pushy type."
Winslet spoke publicly about the break-up yesterday outside her north London home. Looking red-eyed and anxious, the 25-year-old Titanic actress read out a statement saying: "This is absolutely an amicable separation and it is a mutual decision between both of us. Jim and I have great respect for each other. There is no malice at all. Mia remains the happy child that she has always been and Jim and I are communicating constantly."
BBC News, the Reading Evening Post and People News also carried the grandparents’ comments.
From Hello magazine:
"Reconciliation For Kate And Jim Not On The Cards, Say Family And Friends"
actress Kate Winslet’s shock announcement that she and husband Jim Threapleton
had split after just three years of marriage, friends and family are trying to
figure out just what went wrong in the seemingly fairytale romance.
"It is so difficult if you are always in the spotlight," Jim’s mum [grandmum, actually], 73-year-old Mrs Threapleton, told one UK newspaper. "But Kate is very down-to-earth, very normal and she could deal with it. Kate likes company and the limelight whereas Jim is quiet. He is not the pushy type. We have known for a little while that things are not good between them. Her work and his work often kept them apart. We found out about two or three weeks ago when Jim said they were having a few difficulties. They seem to be under so much pressure that they don’t have time for each other – her with her film career and him writing… We just hope things will turn round and they will sort their troubles out."
But friends say a reconciliation is not on the cards. "Jim asked Kate over and over if they could make a go of it," an insider revealed to the UK tabloid The Mirror. "However, there has been an irreparable breakdown. Kate believes their relationship has suffered a seismic fault. There’s a lot of hurt here. Jim is inconsolable and bewildered," reports the source. "He says they were both snapping at each other and the atmosphere could be very strained. But he thought it was just a rough patch. He never knew Kate would end it completely."
Kate, a two-time Oscar nominee, offered few details about the split on Tuesday, saying just this: "It is extremely sad but we are all fine. This is absolutely an amicable separation and it is a mutual decision between both of us. Jim and I have great respect for each other. There is no malice at all. Mia remains the happy child that she has always been and Jim and I are communicating constantly."
The two met on the Moroccan set of the small-budget film Hideous Kinky and married shortly thereafter in a low-key ceremony at her local church in Reading, southern England. They welcomed their first child Mia in 2000 and just a few months ago Kate was extolling the joys of married life. However, the couple have moved out of their house on the river Thames and are believed to have called it quits in the last six weeks.
Many believe the rift was at least partially fuelled by the Titanic star’s phenomenal success, which is at odds with Jim’s relative obscurity. "He wants to be recognised in his own right – write his scripts and get away from things – and not just be Kate’s husband," said one Threapleton relative.
The couple’s refurbished home in Surrey is said to be on the market. Kate’s next film Enigma opens across the UK on September 28.
Thanks to George for emailing me this item from Celebrity News:
"Winslet and Husband 'Split Weeks Ago'"
Neighbors of movie star Kate Winslet say she dumped husband Jim Threapleton weeks ago. Winslet announced Monday that the couple have split after three years of marriage. But neighbors say the sexy actress moved out of their family home in Surrey, south England, several weeks ago - taking daughter Mia to her former home in North London. Her London neighbor Martin Louis, a 48-year-old lawyer, says, "She is staying here. I see her almost every day. I think she has been here for about six weeks." Winslet and Threapleton - a film director - are believed to have split after weeks of bitter rows, but her spokesman insists the separation was a friendly one. In a statement he says, "No other parties are involved in this amicable and respectful separation. Their daughter Mia will remain first priority for both of them."
The Mirror columnist Sue Carroll delivers a blow to Jim - and men in general - in this item (talk about speculating!):
"Why Jim Lost To Winslet"
During Kate Winslet's three-year marriage to Jim Threapleton she has called her husband a "man in a million'', boasted about his sexual prowess - "he just can't get enough of those early morning thrills'' - claimed "nothing is more important than my relationship with Jim'' and called him "a fantastically sexy boy''. Call me cynical, but this sounds as if it might have been an elaborate PR exercise designed to flatter and placate a deeply insecure, difficult, self-centred man who was fearful of anything that took her out of his control. It's why some men feel secure when their partner is fat and housebound and threatened when they're slim, sexy and sociable.
It strikes me as a remarkable coincidence that the announcement of their separation this week came at a time when Kate has shed four stone and regained her self-esteem. It has, of course, been rumoured that the marriage ended abruptly because her continued success highlighted his own lacklustre career. But surely he must have understood the actress was already a huge name when they met on the set of the movie, Hideous Kinky? For all her genuine charm and openness and determination that she's just an "ordinary person'' Kate Winslet is a feted international star, not some showbiz wannabe.
"I found it so wonderful to think 'This is it now','' the actress said last year. "I can relax as a person and know that Jim completely accepts me for who I am.'' Obviously he did no such thing. And I suspect she made the mistake of attempting to fulfill the dual roles of earth mother and successful actress. Something had to give. It's telling, I think, that their marriage has ended before the first birthday of daughter Mia. Perhaps pandering to one baby was all that Kate could handle.
From The Sun:
"It’s Just Mum And Mia Now," By Doug Shields and Tom Worden
Titanic star Kate Winslet stepped out with baby Mia yesterday for the first time since her bombshell marriage break-up. Kate, 25, clutched her 11-month-old daughter tightly for comfort as she began facing up to life without hubby Jim Threapleton. The screen beauty was NOT wearing her wedding ring - in sharp contrast to photos taken only last month at the premiere of her new movie Enigma.
The end of the three-year fairytale marriage, revealed in yesterday's Sun, rocked all showbiz. But yesterday friends and relatives fuelled speculation that the couple had parted because film director Jim was tired of living in Kate's shadow.
Jim's grandad Norman Threapleton, 83, said: "James is not shy but he just keeps in the background and I think that might have had some effect. He wants to be recognised in his own right and not be just Kate's husband. I would think Kate will find it difficult to look after Mia now Jim has gone. Jim looked after her a lot."
A film industry source also told how Jim, 27, feared his own career was flagging way behind that of Kate, who has twice been nominated for Oscars. The insider said: "Although he comes over as very nice he is quite precious about his career and was desperate not to be overshadowed by Kate's success."
Ominous cracks in the marriage of the couple - who met on the set of the movie Hideous Kinky in 1997 - first appeared at the Cannes Film Festival last May. Jim was in the South of France to meet a number of producers but had trouble getting anyone interested in employing him. Asked why Kate could not help him, he replied: "It's not her style to call in favours and I would not ask her to. This is something I want to do on my own." One pal said: "He really wanted something to happen. He seemed a bit desperate and unsure."
Yesterday Kate insisted her split from RAF officer's son Jim had happened with "no malice". Looking tearful and dressed casually in denim jacket, green top and black trousers, she said: "This has been an absolutely amicable separation. It's a mutual decision between both of us. Jim and I have great respect for each other, there is no malice at all. It's extremely sad but we are all fine. Mia remains the happy child she always has been."
As she later left the £500,000 Georgian house in Holloway, North London, she hugged Mia close to her for a kiss. The star again kissed the tot, clad in a white top and blue bottoms, as they were driven away in an S-reg Jeep.
Later a pal of Jim revealed that the couple had been rowing for months as they tried to juggle their careers with bringing up Mia - named after Italian for "mine".
And neighbours said they had often been kept awake by arguments. One neighbour, 34-year-old Simon Hancock, said he had even had to buy earplugs. Simon, who has a ground-floor flat under the couple's two-storey home, said: "They would argue from 7am sometimes until late at night. Kate would scream, 'effing this' and 'effing that' in her posh voice. It's funny when you hear posh people swear because it doesn't sound as if they actually are. You can always hear her louder than him - she goes straight into her drama voice, like she is permanently acting."
Last night Jim was thought to have headed to the couple's £380,000 holiday retreat near Tintagel in Cornwall. Their main home is an £800,000 converted pumping station at Walton-on-Thames, Surrey.
More from The Sun:
"True Story of Kate’s And Jim’s Relationship," By Sinead Desmond and Sharon Hendry
To the outside world, they were the perfect married couple. But the dream was cruelly shattered on Monday evening when the couple issued a brief statement announcing the end of their marriage. It read: "Kate Winslet and Jim Threapleton announced today that they have decided to separate. No other parties are involved in this amicable and respectful separation. Their daughter Mia will remain first priority for both of them."
The gloomy words came just weeks after 25-year-old movie beauty Kate said of her relationship with RAF group captain's son Jim: "We are very lucky."
In this month's edition of the glossy magazine InStyle, she again spoke of her love for her 27-year-old husband. Titanic star Kate revealed they had recently escaped for a romantic break for the first time since daughter Mia was born 11 months ago.
The split is understood to have happened in the past few weeks, with both parties moving out of their imposing £800,000 riverside home in Walton-on Thames. Now it is back on the market. Kate has told friends she is convinced the relationship is over for good and is living with her daughter in her old pad in Holloway, North London.
So where did it all go wrong? How could the couple with everything end up in such a sorry situation?
Here Sun Woman analyses the couple's extraordinary relationship in an attempt to answer those questions.
Kate Winslet had it all - recognition as one of the sexiest screen stars, a gorgeous baby daughter, an adoring husband and a new slimline look. But now her world has fallen apart with the news that her marriage to director Jim Threapleton has collapsed.
Their partnership was believed to be one of the most solid in showbiz - a marriage we all admired, envied and respected. Their simple wedding at a local church in her home town of Reading, Berks, endeared the couple to a nation who had already fallen hook, line and sinker for curvy Titanic star Kate.
They shunned a crass celebrity ceremony and opted for a simple occasion, surrounded by family and friends, followed by a down-to-earth reception at a nearby pub. They also spurned a glitzy honeymoon, opting for a cycling holiday in Scotland.
Despite their enormous wealth and Kate's fame, they seemed so normal, so in love and so determined to make their marriage work.
And the question many fans have been left asking is: If a seemingly devoted couple like Kate and Jim can't make it, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Their wedding came just a year after they fell in love in 1997 on the set of Hideous Kinky. Kate, the youngest actor ever to have received two Oscar nominations, was thrilled to be in the film, which told the story of a hippy girl and her two young daughters in Morocco in the Sixties. But during filming something else caught her attention - dishy Yorkshire film director Jim. Kate says: "I arrived in Morocco and saw this rather glorious-looking blond boy and I just went 's**t,' because I knew that was it. And there was nothing either of us could do about it."
It was love at first sight and Kate felt convinced that Jim was her chance for a happy future. Because, despite coming across as self-assured, Kate's life had not always been plain sailing. As a child at Redroofs drama school in Maidenhead, Berks, her nickname was "Blubber" because of her size.
And four years ago her ex-boyfriend, EastEnders scriptwriter Stephen Tredre, died from cancer. Even though they had separated more than two years previously, they were very close and she still referred to him as her "guardian angel." She missed the LA premiere of Titanic to go to his funeral.
So it was with this determination - that acting would never get in the way of her private life - that she married Jim. But could the couple have fallen victim to their determination to shun the Hollywood lifestyle?
When their daughter Mia, now 11 months, was born, they refused to hire a nanny, preferring to care for her themselves. Kate said recently: "Having a baby has strengthened the relationship." But she also admitted: "There are highs and lows and at times it's tough."
It is also possible that the couple split because Jim tired of being "Mr Winslet." Jim's grandfather, Norman, confirmed the couple may have split because Jim was unhappy in her shadow. He told Channel 5 News: "Kate made all the running really. She was the one who said she fell head over heels and he made her laugh - and that amused us a little bit because he's a bit serious-minded. He's not shy exactly but he just keeps in the background and I think that might have had some effect on him. He wants to be recognised eventually in his own right and not to be just Kate's husband."
When Jim and Kate returned from filming Hideous Kinky in March, 1998, they moved into her flat in Holloway, North London.
The spectacular success of 1997 blockbuster Titanic had shot Kate to superstardom but she insisted her career wasn't the be-all and end-all. She said: "Titanic was great. It opened up a lot of doors in my career but the change it brought wasn't as great as the change brought by Jim." So Kate decided to turn down the offers flooding in from Hollywood, remaining in England because "I love it, it's my home and everyone I love is here."
When the couple revealed they were to marry, she said: "When you know it's the right thing, you know. I knew instantly, I thought yep, I'll have that."
Kate decided to choose roles that kept her close to her home. Quills, her first film after her wedding, was filmed at Pinewood.
Then, just a year after they married, Kate and Jim announced they were expecting a baby. They were over the moon but Kate didn't rule out acting while pregnant and accepted a part in the film Enigma. After Mia's birth in October last year, Kate decided to take a seven-month career break to be a full-time mum.
Known for her curves, her weight had ballooned to 13st during her pregnancy, which depressed the star and reminded her of the bullying she had suffered as a child. It was just two weeks ago that Kate revealed her dramatic new slimline look in glossy women's magazine InStyle. Using a diet designed by a Chinese facial analyst, the star has shed a massive 4st.
Her new look is bound to have sparked more offers of work in America, which would have taken her away from Jim and Mia.
But Kate's change in appearance is not the only thing that might have caused upset at home. The couple had to move out of their Walton-on-Thames home earlier this year while builders repaired flood damage.
And neighbours have complained about their rows - one even said he had to wear ear plugs.
But he won't need them now, however.
For Kate and Jim have called it a day, ending one of Tinseltown's happiest marriages.
From the UK Mirror:
"Jim Begged Kate Over and Over to Give the Marriage one More Chance"
Exclusive: He is inconsolable, says friend
Kate Winslet's heartbroken husband repeatedly begged her not to end their three-year marriage, a friend disclosed last night. But Jim Threapleton was told by Kate the split was final and she was consulting divorce lawyers. The friend said: "Jim asked Kate over and over if they could make a go of it. However, there has been an irreparable breakdown. Kate believes their relationship has suffered a seismic fault. There's a lot of hurt here. Jim is inconsolable and bewildered. He says they were both snapping at each other and the atmosphere could be very strained. But he thought it was just a rough patch. He never knew Kate would end it completely."
Yesterday red-eyed Kate spoke for the first time about the break-up. Trembling with emotion and pointedly not wearing her wedding ring, the 25-year-old Titanic star said outside her flat: "This is an amicable separation and a mutual decision. Jim and I have great respect for each other - there's no malice. It's extremely sad, but we're all fine and communicating constantly." She added that the couple's 11-month-old daughter, Mia, "remains the happy child she always has been".
Later, Kate - wearing a green T-shirt, black trousers, denim jacket and flip-flops - left with Mia for three hours. Flanked by two assistants and a minder, she lovingly fussed around her daughter as she was strapped into the baby seat of an F-reg Jeep Commanche.
Last night it was believed Kate was seeking advice and comfort from actress Emma Thompson, one of her closest friends. Emma went through similar anguish during the collapse of her marriage to Kenneth Branagh.
Cracks first appeared in Kate's "perfect marriage" when she went off to film Iris, a dramatisation of the life of novelist Iris Murdoch. While she was busy working, Yorkshireman Jim, 26, was left home alone looking after Mia. He is said to have become increasingly concerned at his role as a "house husband". Jim was also upset he was unable to fulfill his own film ambitions. The couple said they were setting up their own production company last year. But there has been silence ever since.
As tensions mounted, Kate and Jim rowed over their personal and professional frustrations. They tried to iron out their problems by taking a holiday in Rome and a break at their cottage hideaway in Cornwall. But six weeks ago they split up, leaving their £500,000 home in Walton-on-Thames, Surrey. Since then Oscar-nominee Kate has been living at her old bachelor-girl flat in Holloway, North London, with Mia.
She and Jim have continued to meet for their daughter's sake. The friend said: "Kate's primary concern is for her baby. She and Jim stay amicable for the sake of the child." But some of the couple's meetings are said to have been tense and even explosive.
Yesterday Jim's grandfather Norman, 82, spoke of the family's "great sadness" at the collapse of the marriage. Speaking from his home outside Leeds, the retired design engineer said: "The whole family are very saddened by this. We were, and will always remain, very fond of Kate. She's a lovely lady. I only learned of the news officially last night, although I'd been warned by Jim's father it might come to light. Before that, there was nothing to suggest Kate and Jim would part. We last saw them in April when they seemed very happy together."
Norman blamed the split on the pressures of Kate's work. He said: "She's a star while Jim is trying to make his way in his own field. Jim is a bit of a quiet type and I don't know whether all this film life has gone down well with him. It's not really his thing. He wants to be recognised in his own right - write his scripts and get away from things - and not just be Kate's husband. I think Kate will find it difficult to look after Mia now Jim has gone. He looked after her a lot."
Paying tribute to Kate, he added: "The first time I saw her I thought she was a lovely girl. That impression has only been strengthened on subsequent meetings. She's a down-to-earth girl."
Kate's parents, Sally and Roger, refused to comment at the family home in Reading, Berks. Roger said: "We're not saying anything. It's entirely in Kate's hands."
Neighbours in Holloway spoke of their shock at the separation. Hours after the split was announced on Monday night, David Hancock said he heard arguing at the address. Musician David, 31, said: "I heard a man's voice last night and this morning. It sounded as though a couple were rowing."
Martha Brown, 60, who lives two doors away, said she last saw the couple together on Friday. She said: "They seemed fine and weren't arguing. I'm sure they'll get back together. I've known Kate for five years. She's just an ordinary girl to me. She really loves Jim. I always see Jim carrying Mia in his arms."
Another neighbour, who refused to be named, said: "I couldn't imagine them splitting up. They've been living here together and were here all last week." But barrister Martin Lewis, 48, said: "I saw Kate yesterday and she looked like someone who'd just got out of bed."
Kate and Jim met in Morocco in 1997 on the set of the film Hideous And Kinky where Jim was an assistant director. The actress said: "I arrived and saw this rather glorious looking boy with fantastic blue eyes. I knew that was it - there was nothing either of us could do about it. It was 'I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you'."
The couple were married in a low key ceremony in November, 1998, in Kate's local church. Their reception was a far cry from glamourous Hollywood and typical of practical Kate. Guests were served bangers and mash at a local pub, then entertained by an Irish band.
The pair seemed blissfully happy when Mia was born. Kate said Jim made an amazing dad. She said: "There are times when I look at him and think 'God, I wish I could be as brilliant with Mia as he is'."
Kate recently spoke of how lucky she was to find her husband. But in a telling comment, she added: "Although having a baby has strengthened the relationship there are highs and lows - and at times it's tough."
From the Scottish Daily Record:
"End of the Fairytale" -- How Tinseltown sank the marriage of Titanic star Kate and the Yorkshire boy who hated limelight
It was the stuff movies are made of. Kate Winslet's marriage to Jim Threapleton was the sort of fairytale romance most of us dream about. She was the twice Oscar- nominated star of Titanic with the world at her feet. He was the "glorious looking boy" she fell in love with at first sight.
Just over a year after meeting on the set of Hideous Kinky in Morocco, Hollywood starlet Kate married the third assistant director from Yorkshire in a down-to-earth wedding ceremony. After tying the knot at the Winslet family's local church, the lovers and their guests dined on bangers and mash at a pub reception. When the couple's first child, Mia, was born in October last year, their story seemed set to end with "happily ever after".
Yet just weeks before they were to celebrate their third wedding anniversary, and Mia's first birthday, it seems the fairytale is now over. Kate, 25, woke up yesterday to find herself splashed across the world's newspapers after she revealed she has split from 27-year-old Jim.
Yesterday, emerging from the London flat where she has been living since leaving her husband, the actress looked pale and tired. Tellingly, she was no longer wearing her wedding ring. She said: "This is an absolutely amicable separation and it is a mutual decision between both of us. Jim and I have great respect for each other. There is no malice at all. It is extremely sad." Clutching 11-month-old Mia, she added: "Jim and I are both talking constantly. Mia remains the happy child that she has always been."
Her spokesman insisted that no other party is involved. It seems that Kate's Titanic stardom put untold pressure on the relationship.
Jim’s grandfather, 83-year-old Norman Threapleton, said the couple had seemed very happy together. He said: "I take the view that it was down to Kate's work that they split up. It is just unfortunate it has come between them. She is a star and Jim is trying to make his way in his own particular field. It is difficult. He is a bit of a quiet type. I do not know whether all this theatrical and film life has gone down well with him. It is not really his thing. He likes to write his scripts and to get away from it." He added: "I would think Kate will find it difficult to look after Mia now Jim has gone. Jim looked after her a lot."
It's a sad ending to the wedded bliss, cemented by the birth of their daughter, which the screen goddess never tired of describing. Kate "fell in love at first sight" with Jim, two years her senior, while making Hideous Kinky in 1997. The pair were seen kissing on the dance floor of a club in Marrakech.
The up-and-coming director was just what the doctor ordered for Kate, easing her grief at the death of ex-boyfriend Stephen Tredre a few months earlier. She missed the premiere of Titanic to attend his funeral. She admitted at the time: "I don't know if I'll ever get over this."
Just three months later Kate met Jim [incorrect]. It was he, she said, who helped ease the pain. Although Kate feared the hype over Titanic would scare him off, soon the young couple were planning to wed. She said: "Thank God he hung in there, most people couldn't have taken it." They held a deliberately low-key ceremony on November 1998 at the Winslet family's local church, All Saints, in Reading.
In January last year, Kate announced she was pregnant, and the couple bought a love nest in Tintagel, Cornwall, and an old pump house overlooking the Thames in London. When Mia - from the Italian word for "mine" - came along last October, Kate said her bond with her baby was intense. She even took her daughter's Babygro to sleep with when she went abroad.
While she vowed her acting would come second to her home life, her career continues to spiral upwards - often leaving Jim and even Mia behind.
After Titanic, Kate went on to land roles in Enigma and Quills, and confirmed her position as the nation's sweetheart.
Jim, however, chose the less glamorous and more private lifestyle, writing scripts and directing low- profile, short films. Even when Kate offered to raise his standing in the movie industry and let him direct her, her proud husband flatly refused, desperate to make it in his own right.
Kate's next project will see her branch into producing. She will also star in an adaptation of Zola's Therese Raquin, a tale of crime and passion set in 19th century Paris.
The actress, who gained four stone in the run-up to the birth of 8lb 9oz Mia, has shed the pounds and the curvy figure her husband loved so much. Kate has spent much of her days battling with her figure. Her weight has gone up and down like a yo-yo. At 15 she weighed 13 stone and was called "Blubber" at school.
The star, who once declared diets were "rubbish", said if she didn't trim down she wouldn't find work.
Although she is totally satisfied with her shape, the new look is unlikely to have gone down well with Jim, who always preferred her curves. She said: "He can't stand plastic surgery. To him there's nothing more beautiful than a woman growing old naturally."
Although Kate has won infinitely more high-profile projects than her husband, the time away from her baby has also taken its toll on the couple's relationship.
Her first public outing was the premiere of the film Quills, last month. Tellingly, she left her husband at home holding the baby.
OK, I must comment on Kate’s time at ‘work’ (I’m tired of biting my tongue) -- After the wedding in November 1998, she didn’t work on a film until late 1999 (Quills); she spent about six weeks shooting Enigma in the spring of 2000; then another few weeks filming Iris in the spring of 2001. That’s hardly a work schedule that should have an effect on her family life, as the above article suggests. She cut back on her film work in a deliberate effort to concentrate on her marriage. Would giving up her career totally - and thereby turning her back on her God-given talent - have been the right thing to do? Not in my opinion. Her efforts to balance the elements in her life have simply not worked. We don’t know the reasons why.
From The Scotsman:
"Till Envy Do Us Part," By Kate Ginn
recently Kate Winslet was extolling the joys of married life with her husband.
She spoke of her love for Jim Threapleton, the director she met on a film set,
and told how they had just escaped for a romantic night together. Their
relationship appeared stronger than ever as the actress stressed that her career
now came second to her "perfect family" which had made her life
complete. "An actor’s happiness has to come from something other than
work," she told reporters. "I know we’re very lucky."
Now, just weeks after Winslet uttered those sentiments, the couple have separated and the three-year marriage is apparently over. Winslet, 25, has moved into a flat with their baby daughter, Mia, and is said to be devastated. She has told friends that there will be no reconciliation. Her husband, 27, remains on his own in their home beside the River Thames.
Speculation about the cause of the break has centred on the pressures of her success. While Winslet’s career continues to ascend, Threapleton has struggled to keep pace. As his wife attended premieres of her latest film, he was invariably left literally holding the baby, and was said to be increasingly frustrated with the situation.
When they met on the set of the film, Hideous Kinky, Winslet was the star and Threapleton a third assistant director from Yorkshire. Within a year, they were married and baby Mia arrived last October. Winslet insisted their difference in status was never an issue and claimed they hardly talked about money. Yet while her career continued to flourish with high-profile roles, her new husband has hardly worked since their marriage and assumed the role of caring for their daughter. Only recently, Winslet attended the Edinburgh premiere of her film Enigma alone, while Threapleton remained at home.
The star constantly praised her husband for being "absolutely brilliant" with Mia, saying: "There are times when I look at him with her and think: ‘God, I wish I could be as brilliant with her as he is.’"
Motherhood was tough but having a baby had strengthened their relationship, insisted the actress. But it was significant that the "romantic night" away that Winslet recently mentioned was their first since Mia was born.
As any couple with a young baby knows, finding time for each other becomes a limited luxury. When your wife is a leading actress, much in demand, it would be virtually impossible.
The balance of the Winslet-Threapleton marriage was unequal from the beginning. After three years, perhaps it was too much for Threapleton, his masculinity threatened by his more successful wife.
Furious rows between the two are said to have preceded the split, possibly sparked by Threapleton’s increasing dissatisfaction with his lot.
Winslet is not the only woman to see a relationship in which she holds the balance of power flounder. Living in the shadow of another’s success can be testing for anyone, but for men, it can be an emasculating experience.
Spice Girl Mel B’s marriage to Dutch dancer Jimmy Gulzar lasted just 18 months. Gulzar was said to have felt increasingly insecure about himself. His career curtailed by a back injury, he spent more and more time at home with their daughter, Phoenix Chi, while his wife concentrated on her singing and furthering her career.
Like Threapleton, Gulzar was said to resent his role in the background. He, in turn, was accused of marrying Mel B for her £20 million fortune. They split at Christmas, 1999, and Gulzar, who won a £700,000 divorce settlement, sold his story, claiming the union had ended because his wife had a breast enlargement without telling him. "Mel knew I was against it because it meant she would no longer be able to breast-feed Phoenix," he said. " I wanted her to be strong and healthy and the advice was that breast milk is best. Mel and I had discussed it and she knew I felt she should put being a mum first. We argued about it but I was adamant, and I believed Mel was in agreement."
While domestic goddess Nigella Lawson appears to have combined motherhood with a successful career - most women feel that her lifestyle is unobtainable, something that is more likely to be the result of an inspired publicity campaign rather than any indication of the reality.
Richard La Plante, former husband of the author and scriptwriter Lynda, who created Prime Suspect and Widows, once said that his 18-year marriage finally broke down over his wife’s stellar career. "Living with a woman who is apparently more successful drains you. If you are a real man, it is a disaster," he said.
Princess Anne’s second marriage to Tim Laurence is believed to be in trouble. Anne is said to have become increasingly irritated with her husband’s passive manner. Laurence, 46, a former Queen’s equerry and naval commodore, is a compliant soul who does what he’s told. Anne, on the other hand, is a dominating presence, who smothers those who cannot match her force. Observers note how in public Laurence always appears to walk a few paces behind his wife in deferential respect. The princess is said to have always been attracted to handsome, daring sportsmen with a domineering streak. Her first marriage to Mark Phillips, which ended in divorce in 1990, was said to have crumbled because of his weak personality.
Dr Fiona Jones, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire, has carried out a study in which she interviewed 80 career couples of equal status and earning power. "They were all fairly high-powered, successful people but we found that the men suffered from anxiety and stress more when their partners were successful, especially if the women liked to talk about their jobs," she says. "These higher levels of anxiety may have been caused by the men feeling threatened, but what came over was actually that they wanted to solve their partner’s problems and couldn’t just listen, which is what their partner wanted. What’s interesting is that in similar studies, where the man is more successful and talks to his female partner, both have lower levels of anxiety. It seems that women are better able to cope with their partner’s woes, without getting stressed."
Many relationships do, of course, thrive when the woman is the dominant party. There are men who are more than happy to remain in the background as their wives forge ahead. Denis Thatcher took a back seat for years as his wife made history to become the first woman to take the most high-profile job in the country.
Absolutely Fabulous’s Jennifer Saunders enjoys more success than her husband, Ade Edmondson, but there appears to be no tension in their marriage.
When Victoria Wood met her magician husband Geoffrey Durham, formerly the Great Soprendo, they were both struggling to break into showbusiness. Wood’s career has gone on to eclipse her husband’s but they remain happily married after more than 20 years. Durham does the cooking at home and looks after their children, Grace, 12, and eight-year-old Henry, while his wife tours. She describes him as the rock she built her career on. He, in turn, never seems to have resented Wood’s success or the fact she earns more money than him. "Of course she’s got a higher profile than me," he once said. "She’s a great comic and I’ve always had an enormous ambition for her."
Television presenter Melinda Messenger earns the money while her husband Wayne Roberts looks after their son Morgan full-time. Many predicted that the former model would dump Roberts, whom she met in a Swindon nightclub, when she became famous. Instead, they remain very happy together. Roberts’s soft, amiable personality is said to complement his more gregarious wife’s perfectly. He is not, and never has been, interested in fame or matching his wife’s achievements. "I often think I’d hate to have to start a relationship now," Messenger has said. "I don’t think I could go out with another famous person. It’s wonderful that we have got a good, rock-solid relationship that will last. You can never tell, but I hope it will."
Winslet obviously wanted her marriage to work and believed it would. Her recent public declarations of domestic bliss were perhaps more of an attempt to convince herself than anyone else. She was always aware that her success might scare men off, saying after she met Threapleton: "Thank God he hung in, most people couldn’t have taken it."
It appears their marriage just could not take the strain of her success.
From the UK Telegraph:
"Marriage Split is Very Sad But Amicable, Says Winslet," By Sally Pook
Kate Winslet appeared red-eyed and close to tears yesterday as she talked about the break-up of her marriage to Jim Threapleton, announced by her New York agent only hours earlier to widespread surprise.
The star of Titanic said outside her north London home that the separation was the result of a mutual decision and was "extremely sad".
Winslet, who was not wearing her wedding ring, pointedly refused to shed any light on the break-up, leaving observers to speculate that the yawning gap in the couple's status may have proved too much for a marriage widely regarded, by celebrity standards, as idyllic.
"This is an absolutely amicable separation and it is a mutual decision," she said, standing on the doorstep of her Georgian home in Islington. "Jim and I have great respect for each other. There is no malice at all. It is extremely sad but we are all fine."
The couple, who have an 11-month-old daughter, Mia, remained in touch, she said. "Jim and and I are both communicating constantly. Mia remains the happy child that she always has been."
No one else is said to be involved in the break-up but it has been reported that the separation came after weeks of arguments between the couple.
Threapleton's grandfather, Norman, revealed that relatives had been warned last week to expect an announcement on the future of the couple's three-year marriage. He hinted that Winslet's relentless rise as an actress had contributed to the break-up.
"I take the view that it was down to Kate's work that they split up," he said. "It is unfortunate it has come between them. She is a star. Jim is a bit of a quiet type and is trying to make his way in his own particular field. It is difficult. He wants to be recognised eventually in his own right and not to be just Kate's husband."
The couple met on the set of Hideous Kinky in Morocco, where Threapleton was third assistant director. He was believed to be at the couple's house in Cornwall yesterday.
From the UK Times:
"Tearful Winslet Tells of Sadness at Breakdown," by Helen Studd
Kate Winslet appeared on the doorstep of her former flat without her wedding ring yesterday to speak of her sadness at the breakdown of her marriage.
The star of Titanic, who appeared close to tears, said that the split from Jim Threapleton had been an "amicable and mutual" decision and denied that anyone else was involved. Her voice breaking with emotion, she told reporters outside the North London flat: "Jim and I have great respect for each other. It is extremely sad but we are all fine."
Winslet moved out of the Surrey home she shared with Threapleton, her film director husband, six weeks ago after a series of arguments. The couple, who have an 11-month-old daughter, Mia, insist that there is "no malice" between them.
The pressures of Winslet’s work are thought to be have caused the separation. Threapleton’s family believe that her theatrical lifestyle did not suit him.
Wearing a blue denim jacket, flip-flops and hardly any make-up, Winslet, 25, said: "This is absolutely an amicable separation and it is a mutual decision between both of us. Jim and I are both communicating constantly and Mia remains the happy child that she always has been."
She left the flat in Holloway, North London, shortly afterwards, carrying her daughter.
News of the separation came as a surprise to many in the film industry, who thought the couple’s marriage in November 1998 would defy Hollywood stereotypes and endure. Winslet was always full of praise for her husband and their down-to-earth life. She said recently that her career came second to her home life.
Threapleton, the son of an RAF officer from Ripon, North Yorkshire, met Winslet in Morocco in August 1998 when he was third assistant director on Hideous Kinky, in which she played a single mother. The couple married in a deliberately simple ceremony at the Winslet family’s local church, All Saints, in Reading, Berkshire, three months later.
At the time she expressed fears that the furore over Titanic would scare him away. "Thank God he hung in there, most people couldn’t have taken it," she said.
She hinted that her work was causing a strain on the marriage in a recent interview with In Style. She said having a baby had strengthened the relationship but there were "highs and lows" and at times it was "tough".
Norman Threapleton, 83, Threapleton’s grandfather, said yesterday that he believed Winslet’s work commitments had come between the couple. He said: "She is a star and Jim is trying to make his way in his own particular field. It is difficult. I do not know whether all this theatrical and film life has gone down well with him."
Winslet is due to meet the Prince of Wales later this month at the premiere of her new film, Enigma.
Weekly Winslet September 2-8